Do you not have a receipt / proof of purchase / invoice?
Bastard won: When you have received the Bastard as an incentive from, for example, your employer or if you have won a competition or the like, you can enclose a document (letter or email) as proof of warranty showing that you have received or won the Bastard.
Parts that must be listed here are: name giver, name receiver (owner), which type of model, (format + year), owner's address, owner's telephone number and the purchase date. This then serves as proof of purchase. You can register it online for warranty.
Bastard received as a gift: A copy of the proof of purchase is required to claim warranty (note: no debit card transaction). We can imagine that you do not have these if you received your Bastard as a gift. Request this from the giver anyway, so that you can register your Bastard and (if necessary) make use of the warranty.